Prisoners of the War of the Sexes

God made man first, Adam. Then He thought the man needed a companion so Eve was sent to Earth to keep him company. Repeatedly, God warned Adam never to eat the forbidden fruit, that it was out of bounds – everything was his save for that one thing but Eve broke that rule and they were subjected to a life’s worth of punishment. The burden of that punishment, they say, we are carrying till today because Eve ruined it for the rest of humanity. Not that I have ever cared.

I have always seen women as victims. She is the one subjugated in the society; she is dominated; she is oppressed, harassed, tormented, thumbed under. Then someone reminded me that it was foolish to think they were not victimized by the society, that they were probably better off. I am under no misconception, I know 1 out of 2 women face domestic violence; almost all women are subjected to harassment and assault at some point in their life; many face irreparable damage to their mind, body and souls. But does it really justify the way I look at men? I consider them all vultures, waiting to prey on poor girls. Every guy is a prospective rapist, wife beater or molester – I see monster in each of them. May be many of us do.

Recently, I read a fairly long blog post of a man describing what it was like for him to stay in a country where girls thought he was a threat, where he couldn’t even look at a girl without everyone thinking he was assaulting her. A man asked a random girl out and spent hours in jail. His crime was simply asking someone out who was not interested and possibly not in the right frame of mind. She complained to someone, called the cops, her husband and father beat the alleged monster up and he was behind bars before he could say anything in his defense. I will be the last person to defend a guy, being a sexist myself, but this even shocked me.

The question I was left thinking was - what is happening to us? He didn’t touch her. He didn’t say anything remotely offensive. Hell, he didn’t even ask her the reason why she turned him down. He saw her, he asked her out for coffee, she refused and he left without a word (that’s the story I know and I believe him). We need to protect women in our country but what about the men? Who will protect them from such incidents? Someone has to take responsibility and that someone has to be you, me and us!

Be assertive, eloquent and levelheaded; stand up for yourself; break bones of the man who touches you; speak up when you should but draw a line somewhere. The line between assault and mere expression of speech is not that blurred – you can clearly see the difference. It is time to take accountability for our actions. There is too much power in our hands so we need to use it well. I have encountered girls who would ask a middle-age to relinquish his seat for them just because it is their right on that seat. I have witnessed incidents where women have been domineering and outright indecent. Just because you have power, don’t abuse it. And yes, you do have power – it is power that sent that man to jail, it is power that police didn’t even hear what he had to say, it is power that can ruin someone’s life and career.

As it was said to Harry Potter, use it well.