I can’t see it, but I believe it exists…
The wind makes me happy. When I’m at the bus stop, listening to my Ipod, waiting for the bus to arrive in cold weather and wind blows exactly in my direction, touches my hair and disturbs my perfect hair-do, and makes me shiver, it delights me. I sing with the wind, making sure no one is listening to my funny voice, not giving a damn if anyone is at all at the street, I am free.
I happen to believe in miracles as much as I believe in God. Things happen to me all the time – they make me realize how easy it is to be sure, how invincible I am sometimes, and how grateful you can truly be. When my best friend calls me up, informs me she’s at my door...When my father gets me a chocolate just because he felt like it...When they play my favorite movie on some channel. The small things that bring smile to your face – those are the things worth living for. I believe some things just happen, without a reason, without you wishing for them. The complaints, the despair vanishes and for that one moment, one hour or one day, you can’t fathom how, but you get what you desired, deserved – to smile. I do believe in miracles - never got a reason not to.
I have a connection with God. He likes to me to an extent that I believe I’m his favorite child. He keeps me healthy, grants me wishes everyday. When I don’t want to work – I’m not obligated to. When I pray I don’t miss my bus, I don’t. When I wish for a good day for me and for someone else, which is everyday (I hope you don’t get bored of my daily wishing for the same thing), he listens. Sometimes, it comes true, sometimes – not so much. Not that I blame him – I’m enjoying a pretty simple life as compared to those around me- it is a piece of cake. I accept that - acknowledge and appreciate it.
Some things no one can explain – some things are better left undiscovered. You can be skeptic all you like but the truth is being a cynic only makes a situation worse. Asking questions get answers but I have a belief that there exists a supernatural power, and I won’t consider otherwise. I rather be stupid than be a non-believer.
At dawn, when wind blows to my face, makes me happy, I assume I’d have a good day, great even. A happy beginning is all I need to make my day beautiful; an assurance that today nothing and no one would do anything to hurt me, I would get back with the same smile I left with.
Monday 1 February 2010
Sunday 3 January 2010
SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED SAVING
I can manage the clouds but I can’t fight an eclipse.
Ever felt like you were drowning on dry land? The world around is fading and you just can’t breathe? All the attempts of swimming to the shore are in vain because there is no water, no shore and you don’t know how to swim. Nevertheless, you keep your eyes wide open and call out for help because surrender is not an option, it is a compulsion.
The beginning of the journey was a dream, a happily ever after. Somewhere along the way, everything changed; sun was replaced by clouds, roses by thorns. Going back became impossible and ahead, it is a never ending, never turning road leading to nowhere. Then came the time to stop, to give up and let the things be. What good could it do anyway? It feels so much better to quit because all you can do is quit. There’s no chance of getting out of this pit so here’s what you do – you cease all you efforts and wait for death. After a point, when nothing can be done, despair takes over giving way to numbness, zeroness. Beyond the reach of anyone; the darkness is consuming. The fierce shadows of the past are haunting every sense of the living, prying above the head, making every breath a mistake. I close my eyes and pray for the end.
The voice somewhere is urging me to pull myself up and fix what is broken. A hand is trying to reach me to get me out of my own personal hell and my reluctance only encourages it more. There is a fire, a passion to save me, to make me want to fight again. A rage I do not understand but can’t help but get into. The exit was always that way, just no one to tell me how to get through. This may be time to wake up.
At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you least expect it to and what seemed like a full stop, becomes comma. When you have a sign of DNR - Do Not Resuscitate, life gives you another chance. May be sometimes we need someone to remind us, what it means to be alive.
Ever felt like you were drowning on dry land? The world around is fading and you just can’t breathe? All the attempts of swimming to the shore are in vain because there is no water, no shore and you don’t know how to swim. Nevertheless, you keep your eyes wide open and call out for help because surrender is not an option, it is a compulsion.
The beginning of the journey was a dream, a happily ever after. Somewhere along the way, everything changed; sun was replaced by clouds, roses by thorns. Going back became impossible and ahead, it is a never ending, never turning road leading to nowhere. Then came the time to stop, to give up and let the things be. What good could it do anyway? It feels so much better to quit because all you can do is quit. There’s no chance of getting out of this pit so here’s what you do – you cease all you efforts and wait for death. After a point, when nothing can be done, despair takes over giving way to numbness, zeroness. Beyond the reach of anyone; the darkness is consuming. The fierce shadows of the past are haunting every sense of the living, prying above the head, making every breath a mistake. I close my eyes and pray for the end.
The voice somewhere is urging me to pull myself up and fix what is broken. A hand is trying to reach me to get me out of my own personal hell and my reluctance only encourages it more. There is a fire, a passion to save me, to make me want to fight again. A rage I do not understand but can’t help but get into. The exit was always that way, just no one to tell me how to get through. This may be time to wake up.
At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you least expect it to and what seemed like a full stop, becomes comma. When you have a sign of DNR - Do Not Resuscitate, life gives you another chance. May be sometimes we need someone to remind us, what it means to be alive.
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