It never seemed a problem before. I thought
I had it under control until I realized that I don’t. I can’t stopbiting my
nails and it’s just sad because I’d like to grow them like any other sane girl.
Clearly, sanity is not a virtue that I possess. So the long and short of it is I
have no restraint and zero willpower.
It’s just another reminder of my indiscipline
and lack of authority. When it comes to the matter of my nails, I’m most completely
and absurdly neurotic, much like my untidiness, laziness, blabbering and eating
patterns. On my way to perfection, these are the few obstacles that I need to
overcome and then I’ll be good to go. If only I could be masochistic and apply
some bitter tasting nail polish or worse, chilly on my nails. You know what?
These are not the habits that you can overpower when you are as old as I am.
This is the childhood stuff, which is now making me think that I missed a few
steps back there. Did I?
So how did it start? Hmm… My brother used
to do it, I must have picked up the habit from him. Did my family try to stop
me? Well, yeah but I never listened to them or I wouldn't be writing this post,
would I? So what can I do now? Live with it.
That’s settled. I bite my nails, it’s a
blip, I hate it but what can we do, eh? I can’t stop myself so I’ll just carry
on until I catch an infection and die of whatever it is that nail biting
causes. Cancer?
Only problem is that I want to quit, I
really do. I just don’t know how. A lot of people have advised me on the
subject and honestly, I have tried those things. It doesn't work. Either my
subconscious doesn't want me to quit or I’m too far gone. I’ll just wait to hit
my rock bottom and then I’ll rise above like a shining angel. Guess now I know
what an addiction is like!
I don’t mean to sound so dramatic about it
but when I’m older (if I survive till then), I’d look back to these days and
think to myself while biting my nails, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you
stronger!”
1 comment:
But you had tiny nails.. how do you even manage to bite them? :p
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