New Year, Same Old Me

Another year has come to pass. Now we’ll be getting calendars from Daboo Ratnani and IndiaPicture and picking out favourite months based on the best photographs. New diaries. New resolutions. And that same old vow: This year will be different. This year, I will be different.

And, I will be! Two months ago, I decided to be healthier. Physically and mentally. Less than a month ago, I retired my wings and stepped into another role. But a lot will be the same, like this tradition of making the first blog post of the year at midnight and chastising myself for not being more disciplined with this. I was supposed to write 24 short stories in 2017 and even when I had the inclination, I let myself go loose. And the gazillion online courses are in a limbo somewhere, too. Ted Talks, documentaries, podcasts are nearly forgotten.

The last few hours left are as much for recollection and retrospection, as for vow-making. A year in review, that’s what people call it. I did well, come to think of it. I travelled, met with professional growth, made an effort to stay in touch with friends (and not become a recluse), and I mostly did whatever the hell I wanted. Two international holidays and many work travels later, I am wiser and happier. And stronger, for I did say goodbye to a job that wasn’t giving me any pleasure.

Oh, 2018! I’m not doing this with a coke, chocolate cake, and pizza as always. That’s a darn good sign for what is to follow! I promise to finish my reading challenge this year and write at least 12 short stories (God willing). I promise to be more levelheaded with money matters. And like every year, I promise to be less judgemental and more patient with people.

I don’t always know where I’m going when I start a year, but I like where I am right now: Procrastinating like a pro and watching Footloose. What a life!

What The Future Holds

Only half an hour to go and I have made my list of resolutions. It’s fairly simple: stop complaining; chase your dreams no matter what; be more assertive and decisive; stop depending on others; write, write and write; do whatever the hell you want and just be happy.

I don’t remember what I wanted last year, so I am not sure if 2013 panned out like I wanted it to but what I can say with 100 per cent certainty is that at this moment, I am quite happy. It’s not because of the pizza I ordered or the fact that Romedy Now is playing my all-time favourite movie (still thankful to God that Airtel finally listened to my pleas and started the channel) or that I have found another show to be obsessed about. Cosy on my bed, I’m sipping my coke and watching television without any care in the world and I’m positively content.

Before I bid adieu to this year, I want to record one memory from the year gone by, lest I forget it. My first article got published this year and that feeling that I’m on the top of the world; that rush of seeing my name in a magazine for the first time was indescribable. Will I get this emotional every time my by-line appears? I know not, but for those few minutes (hours and days), I was incredibly proud of the work I had done. While I was basking in its glory, I realised it was just mine. No one had any inclination how that one article steered the course of my life and in all honesty, I couldn’t tell anyone. For as long as I could remember, I had wanted this, more than anything in the world. My triumph, my success, my moment of glory. Mine, all mine. I don’t want to share it with anyone for the fear that they won’t get it and it just might take something away from me. Besides, it’s just one pearl in my string of accomplishments.

This year was definitely different. Different than every other year and that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’ve spent an eternity looking back at days gone back – things that happened, things that didn’t happen, things that I wish had happened. Moving on, I will keep my eyes ahead. History does matter, but not as much as the present and the future. I look forward to turning over a new leaf. So good riddance 2013, and cheers to a fresh new beginning! Bring it on, 2014!